It's November 5th Firework night and I'm sitting in a cafe after a filling at the dentist.
This week the nerves have set in re Mambalsa project. It doesn't take much to knock my fragile ego and to be honest I've been waiting for this low bumpy mood to come along for a while now. A cyclical depression or just the onset of winter?
Nothing went wrong, it just feels like I'm wading through mud, towards more mud.
The two words that sum up my progress are avoidance and frustration.
Avoidance is where I find other stuff to do to avoid doing what I need to do.
I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to getting stuck into my accounts. Nothing like a pile of receipts to bury all progress under. And his gravestone read "At least he got his tax return in on time"
Not an amazing output by any means but significant in that it showed I avoided avoidance and went on to be frustrated by frustration.
Avoiding Avoidance is easiest as it's basically using avoidance to avoid avoidance. I could argue that avoiding avoidance is hard to avoid.
So how do I frustrate frustration?
What seems to work is to stick to the actual. Real things that are real and present in the world, rather than planning and preparation to do real things. 'Today I did' rather than 'Today I prepared to do'.
Things did happen yesterday. Two events got listed. An email was drafted that I had been avoiding since September. A significant Not Nothing.
To day I will do more.
A friend of mine who had spent some time with mental health problems said the best 'to do' list uses half the page to write what you've achieved.
Conclusion- Everything that makes it hard or difficult is part of the reason why no one else has done it!
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